For all of you panting poppers huffers out there.

Saving souls by breeding holes.

Why am I suddenly getting kind of repulsed by how porn has desensitized so many things and kind of extracted so much dignity by becoming so everyday? I'm not jumping on some anti-porn bandwagon. I'm just wondering why we have such a focus on it and a welcoming acceptance to the revolting acts of hedonism. By all means, sex should never be taboo. I am not one for proverbial closets, either. However, what is civility without at least a few veils left untouched? I have posed a fashion of being sexual in the past but only in the name of art or just a good shot from the photographer's lens. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Porn is porn and as an ex, a wonderful man, once said "An orgasm is an orgasm." There's just some people you could never talk all filthy to. Take Jackie O. for instance. I wouldn't have been able to say something perverse and disgusting to her. Those people that are so classy and well put together....what about them? I wonder if they were really just sexual fiends in hiding. Meh. Just a random thought. I don't think that I could ever live to say "My hole is my livelihood." I'm not passing any judgement. It's' just a different angle, and not the coveted side shot. Recently, I met someone that claims his occupation as a "Porn Model". I, having no tact, asked "So which STDs do you have?" He chuckled and said "I don't."
I egged him on with part sardonic humor and part not and said, "AH, C'mon. You at least have to have a scorching case of herpes." We got a good laugh out of our meeting. He's a great guy but I can feel his low perception of himself. I could feel that somewhere in this man was a boy that was really hurt somewhere. I've always been able to pick up on hurt, sadness, grief in people even when they think that they've got their best guards up. There's something in the way someone talks, inflection, and their eyes. They also have an energy about them that I easily tap into. Me being a hurricane thundercloud a few times in my life it is no wonder why I am what some call a hypersensitve. Some think we can tap into supernatural things. I don't know about all that but I think my mother's mother put it perfectly when I was still in the womb.
"This one's gonna feel around life with his heart and not his hands."
So, tenderhearted as I may be, I am sitting across a table from a real life porn model and feeling very intrigued and at the same time really turned off. I don't know what makes them different from a whore. As far as prostitution is concerned, I say let people go and do what they want as long as it is not hurting anyone. They may be hurting themselves but that is totally on them to straighten their own shit out.
Ugh....chasing rabbits.
Porn, poppers, and prostitution....Trivial? Absurd? Sinful (when we place personal morality in the mix)? It's porn on film and I wonder...When these people try to live in the real world...Do they have a hard time being taken seriously? I'll admit it. When I was talking to the porn show pony I was having a hard time accepting the possibility that there was some substance to him. I believe that everything is equal in spirit. That is one of the things that Quakers, yes that's my chosen faith, follow. I may get pissed off at particular groups of people, say nasty things, or get upset with the choices people make but when it comes down to it, we are all equal on that level of energy.
Gads! I'm gonna stop now. I'm just transmitting complex babble now.

New Music Friday

New music is usually debuted on Tuesdays. I'm giving myself a couple of days to truly listen and marinate on the new grooves released. Please note that if I did not cover a release it is more than likely because it is crap churned out by the music industry. I have no time to give any attention to work that does not come from an organic, authentic place. Auto tune is the enemy. With that out of the way, lets begin with Sade's "Soldier of Love". It is truly a great follow up to a nearly ten year hiatus with 2000's Lovers Rock. The debuting single is just the fringe of the intensity that this album has to offer. Your best bet is to purchase this album. It's a good investment that will pay out with some mellow feel that has a tinge of sexual undertones. If you are just now getting familiar with this velvet voice that comes from a sexy, 50 year old, Nigerian, mocha sound box this album is just the tip of the iceberg that has lasted a credible career in the music industry since 1980.

I cannot resist giving a bad review when it is clearly due. Hip hop has had a very successful metamorphosis from a hip underground appeal to a major money making scheme that required for the art to lose its authentic, organic appeal. Once in a while a hip hop/rap artist is rocks the mic with the pantyhose and this is not one of those occasions. Since said art has become all about marketing lets take a gander at DJ Kay Slay's single from "More Than Just a DJ". It is titled "You Heard of Us". Spitting out lyrics like "I'm StreetSweepin on the Deegan with this Puerto Rican mami
Long hair, the pussy like tsunami Gucci's on, hoodie over, tell them playas game is over. Soon as I step in the club they like.....(HO!!!)"
Leaves much lacked for any taste. The video is very cliche full of disco balls, skanks, and black men drinking passe high shelf bottles of alcohol. It's things like this that make me yearn for artists like The Beastie Boys, Diggable Planets, Peanut Butter Wolf, and Naughty By Nature.

From there we will travel to the single "You Make My Love" by Toni Braxton. I've always got a sweet spot for this artist. She exudes class and is smooth like a perfect ganache. This little piece of R&B ear candy is a little lack luster but it has the power to make my toes tap. The layered harmonies are quite nice and then you got that big brass reel playing in the background. Well done, Ms. Braxton. Well done.

Lets hop on over to the new single "Everything To Me" by Monica. It's a little slow jam that doesn't necessarily grab you but I've cleaned house listening to this soulful treat she gives us. I just wish she would grab me and shake me with something. This artist has been around for enough time now that she should have done something amazing by now. I really can't think of anything that really sticks out. She is like her vocal doppelganger Brandy.

I'll leave a couple up for you to decide. Check out the single by Alo titled "I Love Music" and the new album by Hot Chip titled "One Life Stand". I find them both very enjoyable and yes, another good investment.

Same Shit Different Day

Other than finding myself listening to The Yeah Yeah Yeah's, Danielle Dax, and She Wants Revenge I am kind of digging the normal day-to-day tedium.  Peace and quiet are totally underrated.  The gym has kind of become my own little club house.  I'll post my progress when I'm comfortable in doing so.  Work has been just jogging along.  Some days, actually most days I am finding myself thanking the master of the universe for such incredible provisions.  Life isn't always sortid.  Sometimes it's just a little monochromatic and that is just fine with me.

Big Fat Thick Fluffy Flakes

More snowfall and it seems like we are tappering off with the white stuff with springtime mist.  Tornado season is right around the corner.  I hope that my life doesn't participate emmulating the weather.  Spring is usually my favorite season, though.  Nature's green is gold and spring always seems like it holds so much promise.  I kind of feel like things are going in a good direction.  The more I'm honest with myself and others about what I want, don't want, can put up with, and can't the more liberated I feel.  Honesty may be quick and painful but hiding things just takes the same kind of pain that honesty has but it's an internalized, drawn out hurt.  I found that I became my worst oppressor when I didn't just communicate the simple things like "This is who I am, this is what I'm feeling right now, this is everything about me".  I'm not one for much mystery anymore.  It just seems like some game.  If it weren't a game then why would you apply sayings like "Don't show all the cards you're holding." to your life.  I'm not afraid of being hurt by anyone anymore.  It's just how I handle it from here on out that is the real deal.  As far as "laying my cards on the table", I'm not afraid of being vulnerable.  I do set my boundaries but I've never been one to close myself off and I never can be.  I'm addicted to the human condition and taking life straight up with no chaser.  I'm finding it much more visceral than building walls to make me less compassionate like some other people do.  Meh.  To each his own. 

And those flakes.....they can keep on coming.  I don't care if it so thick that I can't see in front of my face.  I'm still going to dance and spin around in it.

Uh-oh. Homo no no!

I met my new therapist today and I'm already having sexual transference towards him. Let's call him Hank, because that's his name. This could either be a real problem or I could just turn our weekly appointments reason to get into the best shape of my life. He walked into the office and I just kept saying in my head "Jonathan, you will NOT seduce this one." I don't need any repeats of Dr. Liqueur, yes that was his real name, when I was in high school.

Fashion is what you adopt when you don't know who you are.

Unfortunately one cannot help but to eventually skim over a television program whilst bored on a Sunday evening or over magazine articles in the doctor's waiting room that critiques the trivial subject of dress on the red carpet durning "Red Carpet" season.  It all drips with disdain and stupidity. Fashion has recently rocked a nerve with me and I'm really beginning to think that it's totally diminutive in the grand scheme of things.  Hollywood is truly irrelevant when it comes to real people living in the real world.  For some reason we use them as a form of escapism.  Truly you might get better results using crack cocaine.

And in regards to those actors we put on pedestals, I think it's about time we see them for what they really are.  These are people that are so wrapped up in themselves that they had to get into a profession that makes them their own best P.A.L. - personal ass licker.