Just When I Thought I Was Over It

I find myself telling John that I can't be with him because it isn't being honest with myself.  I am still in love with Eric and that wouldn't be fair to anyone.

Way to go K.C.!!!

Way to go K.C.!! You've achieved over 143 HIV infections within just five months. That puts Jackson county over California and New York. We're gaining on DC and Atlanta. Watch out! BTW, the sifilis count is over three hundred since February.

Love, Loss, and Leaving

After careful consideration, I finally came to terms with the fact that Eric is TOTALLY out of my system.  It came to me when John, the new man in my life, was sitting across the table from me.  Everything just comes so easy with him.  There is no pressure or need to prove anything.  I have never had anything like this before.  Best of luck to Eric.  I hope he finds what he needs but I am VERY glad that it is not me.  That relationship was a crap shoot from the start.  Relationships shouldn't be a crap shoot.  If you're meant to flow through life with someone then you should be able to rely on them being there no matter what....that's if you're ready to have that kind of variable in your life.  I guess some just never are.  meh. 

School is rolling on nicely.  My instructors put everything on blackboard so I am kind of getting spoiled.  It's cool though.  It's good to be spoiled every once in a while.